Fourth and final chemo, Day 16.
I’m exhausted and twitchy and mean, and so ready to be done with all this. Bob reminds me that this is exactly how I felt at this point in all the chemo cycles. Such bullshit. I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I have nothing interesting to add. I want my hair to grow back, but I also want a visible, viable excuse to sleep late and take naps.
Our dog has been a complete jerk lately, and it’s entirely our fault. We let him be in charge. Dog says it’s time to go to bed? We go to bed. Dog says he’s going to eat some human food when the humans are done? Here you go.
Now he’s overstepped. He’s grabby and bossy. I hear Bob giving Abbie a treat: “Gentle…OW!! GENTLE!!” Yesterday I quietly opened the door to Bob’s office to give Bob a breakfast smoothie while he was on a conference call. Abbie followed me in, and as I was leaving, I whispered and motioned for the dog to come along. After a bit, Bob hopped up from his call to escort the dog out – I was wearing headphones and didn’t know Abbie was growling at me the whole time. He wanted to stay in Bob’s office (aka our bedroom at the cabin), and was letting me know. Asshole. We’re stepping up our efforts to remind the dog of the actual chain of command in the family, but it’s slow going.
We were down by the lake earlier. There’s an ice ridge where the ice pushed the bank up – there’s no gradual slope to the water, more of a hump and a short drop. Abbie isn’t a swimmer, and doesn’t pay attention to the water at all – but he’s very interested in gross smelly things that might be close by. I watched him sniff around the ridge, then slowly lower his shoulder to rub himself into some stink. I yelled, and when he turned his head toward me, he lost his balance and fell in the lake.
It was the best. Honestly, it was the high point of my week.
We’re enjoying top shelf, A+ level birds at the feeders. Rose-breasted grosbeaks, orioles, billions of gold finches, some indigo buntings, a few exotic sparrows and now the hummingbirds are back, too. I brought the orioles organic grape jelly from the Wedge Co-op, made without high fructose corn syrup. They ate the whole jar in about two days. I’m not prepared to support that level of consumption. They get cheap jelly now.