Every time I’ve climbed up to a high place – a bell tower in Europe, for example – I’ve really loved the view in spite of the overwhelming urge to spread out on the floor as flat and as heavy as possible, lest someone want to throw me over the edge. My safety mechanisms kick in, and my instinct is to be impossible to peel up. I also have to keep one hand holding my glasses on my head, because they’ll definitely fall over the edge. If anyone comes too close to me, my body will emit a high shrieking sound, coincidentally not unlike the sound my car makes when I’m about to back into something. It’s worse if someone approaches while holding a baby, because if they throw the baby over, the draft would pull me over, as well.
We’re getting to the “wandering about aimlessly” part of pre-surgery brain hibernation. I can’t think bad thoughts. I can’t really even focus on good thoughts. We’re undergoing a factory reset to “no thoughts.” I still have Daryl McCormack with me, though, and is he ever a comfort. I’m really disappointed with myself in the tv star adoration department, though. We watch a LOT of tv, as you know, and spend the first few minutes of every show looking up “What was he in, again?” It’s one of our favorite family games, up there with “Is that poop?”
We can recognize the mainstay actors from all over -- Irish, Scottish, Welsh, all the myriad Scandinavian, British…and we will go out of our way to follow our favorites, like Nicola Walker, for example. How could I have missed that I’ve seen Daryl in my beloved Peaky Blinders? Was I so distracted by Tommy Shelby that I was unable to appreciate the supporting actors? Even worse, we JUST finished Bad Sisters, where Daryl is one of the leads. So easy and so obvious, but no recognition. I guess Daryl as Leo Grande is the only one that really spoke to me, and he’s a great surgery escort.
Ordered Maria’s corn pancakes delivered for breakfast today. Part of the self care leading up to surgery. I’m not thinking of it as a last supper (we’ve got a reservation for Thai at 6:30), but we never know when our time will be up; eat the corn pancakes!